collide
by mscullen82
Summary: When Edward saves Bella from tyler's van in twilight instead of staying around to explain himself to Bella he takes off leaving his family, the Cullen's behind. What does Bella do with her life ?, Will Edward come home ? my 1st attempt at fan fiction
1. Chapter 1 Dreams

**COLIDE**

**Chapter 1 – Dreams**

I woke up to find myself hyperventilating, my legs all tangled up in my bed sheets. I sat bolt up straight taking in the familiar surroundings of my bedroom. It hadn't changed much since I was born seventeen years ago, the crib was now my double bed but that was the only real difference. Then again I hadn't really been in this room that long, it had always been mine from the day I was born; but when my mum and dad split up when I was a baby I went with my mum. This was my room for the few weeks every year that I visited my dad. It still had the same pale blue wall's it had while I was growing up. Since moving here ten months ago I had put some of my own personal touches to it, the curtains were now purple, instead of yellow, they matched my bedding. I'd also put up some fairy lights around my bookshelves to try and add a little extra colour, Forks could be really dull for days on end, one of the reasons my mum had left this place and one of the reasons why I only came here a few weeks out of the whole year. Yet here I was now calling this place home, I'd settled down here much quicker then I ever thought possible, surprisingly I actually liked it here.

I realized pretty quickly that I had just been dreaming and with a big sigh I flopped back down on to the pillows and pulled my duvet over my head. My breathing had calmed down by now and with the calm came the feelings of anger and frustration, why was I dreaming of him yet again? I was confused, I hardly even knew him. It's not like he was ever really that nice to me; well not until the day he saved my life in the school parking lot, Edward Cullen.

I jumped out of bed deciding a refreshing shower was in order to help me forget my dreams, not that they weren't good, they were very very good, great even but I shouldn't be dreaming of him, he wasn't mine, I wasn't his and I hadn't seen him since the day he had saved me.

"Come on Bella, Pull yourself together girl" I said to myself.

At first the shower helped but soon again my mind started to wander, Edward Cullen !! He was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen; he was tall with a slim toned body. He had bronze coloured hair which he wore in his own unique style and mysterious golden eye's and had a face that most male models would sell there soul for. Sometimes I caught myself staring at him and would internally slap myself for making it obvious that I liked him. I had never stood a chance with Edward for numerous reasons, one, he was so out of my league, two, I only ever saw him hanging out with his family and third he acted as if I didn't even exist. Before Edward left he had started to talk to me in the one class where we were sat next to each other, it was biology and we were lab partners. I didn't know him but he had started to talk to me and I hoped that soon we could possibly be friends, but then the accident happened and I haven't seen him since.

There had been a bad frost the night before the accident but somehow I'd managed to make it to school unscathed. As I'd got out of my truck I heard this horrible screeching sound mixed with people screaming my name. I looked up to see Tyler's van coming straight at me after skidding on some black ice. I was going to be crushed between his van and my truck, there was no way I'd have been able to get out of the way, it was coming to fast for me to react so I just closed my eyes waiting for the impact. I knew I was going to die, I should have died that day but I didn't and it was because of him. An impact did come, but from a different direction to what I was expecting. Edward had managed to get to me from across the parking lot, he'd pushed me out of the way when the van collided with the back of my truck and then had pulled me close to him while he pushed the van away to keep it from falling on me.

I knew straight away that it was not humanly possible to do what Edward had just done, nobody could move that fast or be that strong, but he was and the fact that I was standing here in the shower six months later proved that I hadn't imagined it. I'd tried to confront him about it later that day in the hospital but he just made it seem like I was imagining it,

"I was standing right next to you Bella, you hit your head, I think your confused"

I knew that wasn't the truth but I never got to talk to him about it again because he never came back to school, his sister, Alice, who I was now friends with told me he'd moved to Denali to live with his cousins. I couldn't help thinking that I was the reason he'd moved away but whenever I mentioned it to Alice she assured me that I had nothing to do with his decision to leave Forks. Apparently he'd been planning to move away from Forks for a while.

I'd been in the shower for a while now, I heard Charlie coming up the stairs, and he banged on the bathroom door,

"Come on Bell's, you've been in there long enough now, there's two of us sharing that bathroom remember"

"Sorry dad, I was day dreaming I'll be two minutes ok"

"Ok Bell's" with that he went back down stairs.

I grabbed hold of my favorite shampoo, strawberry scented, and started to wash my hair, I'd been in here for over half an hour now and the room was full of steam. I turned off the shower and got out; I had to wipe down the mirror so I could see what I looked like. I brushed trough the tangles of my long brown hair and sighed, my boyfriend kept trying to get me to dye my hair blonde, but I loved being a brunette, so he could keep pushing and I would keep telling him no, if he really wanted a blonde then he should have asked out Jessica or Lauren, he'd have to put up with me the way I was, I wasn't changing for anyone.

I opened the bathroom door and the cold air rushed in and made me shiver, I tighten the towel around me, I stood at the top of the stairs

"Dad, bathrooms free, sorry I took so long"

"It's ok Bells, its just I'm going down to La Push, its Billy's birthday remember"

I had totally forgotten, what was wrong with my brain at the moment, probably the lack of peaceful sleep, bloody Edward Cullen. Whenever I dreamt of him the dreams were so real that I felt like I'd hardly slept at all.

"Hey bells"

"Yea dad"

"Why don't you come? Billy would love to see you, so would Jacob"

"I'd love to dad but I said I'd spend some time with Mike today"

"Come on Bell's you see Mike all the time, you haven't seen Billy and Jacob for ages, there like family Bella"

I could see him getting slightly irritated with my attitude lately, he was right I hadn't seen them in ages and part of me would have loved to go down to La Push, but I'd promised Mike and he hated it when I broke off arrangements with him, so I thought compromise.

"I see mike all the time at work dad, it's not quite the same. Tell Billy happy birthday from me and tell Jake that I'll come down soon before school starts back up"

I could tell from his face that he'd let this go, Charlie never pushed me to do anything, we got on really well, the bond we had as father and daughter was stronger then I thought it would ever be. We were very much alike, we were both quite people, I could tell what he was thinking just by looking at him and visa versa; he was easy to live with.

"Ok Bells I'll tell em, you have fun with Mike, don't know what time I'll be back, if you go out leave a note so I know were you're at"

"Sure thing dad, you have fun to"

With that I went in to my room, I was starting to get cold as I was still only wrapped in a towel. I shut the door behind me and turned round to face my bedroom, what a mess I seriously needed to catch up on my household chores, If me and mike weren't going to be out long I'd sort my room out as soon as I got in. There were clothes on the floor, my wash basket was full to bursting point and I had CD's and my favorite book's scattered around by my bed. My work desk had my school work that I'd been doing during the holidays and my bed, well my bed looked like I'd gone ten rounds with a champion boxer. The sheets were all tangled up, what on earth was I doing last night, oh yea, dreaming of him. I walked over to the foot of the bed grabbed hold of the corners of my duvet and flipped it back to how it should be. I sorted all my pillows back in to there proper place and crawled on to my bed sitting cross legged in the middle. I looked at myself in the mirror that hung on my wall. I sighed heavily and then grimaced at myself. Edward had saved my life, he was the only reason I was alive today, so I suppose it was only natural to dream of him and with that thought I smiled.


	2. Chapter 2 connection

**Chapter 2 – Connection **

I felt slightly better once I realized I shouldn't berate myself for dreaming about someone who'd saved my life, it was normal, to be expected; like some hero worship kind of thing I suppose.

The ring tone on my mobile broke through my irritated mind – Time is running out, by Muse.

"Hello"

"Bella, I'm setting off now, be at yours in like 20 minutes okay babes"

"Mike", my mind was still working slowly.

"Yeah, you ok? You sound weird"

"Yea, sorry, no I'm fine still sleepy I guess. I'm just getting ready; I'll try and be quick"

"Leave the door open, I'll come up", the tone of voice made his intentions obvious, it sounded like Mike would love to be in my bedroom.

I hung up the phone. I needed to get ready now. If mike came up to my room we'd start kissing and with my dad being out all day Mike would try to push his luck. He was ready to take our relationship to 'the next level' as he put it. I most definitely was not ready to take that step. I liked Mike a lot; he was one of the first friends I'd made in Forks. He was ecstatic when Edward Cullen had left. He told me once just after we'd got together that he thought Edward liked me, so it made his day when he left; it made the way clear for him to make his move on me unchallenged. I laughed at myself, as if Edward could have liked me. I felt my stomach twist,

"If only"

Mike would want to take advantage of the empty house especially being in the same room as my double bed. I wasn't in the mood for arguing with Mike and if I had to turn him down again it would defiantly upset are day together.

I walked over to my wardrobe and took out the first things I could get my hands on, a faded pair of blue jeans, a long sleeved gray and cream top and my trusty black converse trainers. There was no way I'd be wearing heels. I pulled my hair up out of my face into a high pony, grabbed my jacket off the back of my bedroom door and headed downstairs to wait for Mike.

I didn't have to wait long; Mike was walking into the house before I'd finished pouring milk on my cereals. He came straight over to me, spun me round and planted a kiss on my lips. His arms snaked round my waist holding me securely to him. His mouth tried to make mine respond quicker; I could feel his need for it growing more urgent as the seconds passed by. Part of me wanted to give in and kiss him back with as much enthusiasm and urgency as he was kissing me, its not like Mike wasn't good at kissing its just that I knew were this was heading, Mike wanted to take the next step, he wanted sex. I knew he'd do this! I managed to slow the kiss down, I didn't want to hurt his feelings but I didn't feel strongly enough for him to go that far; we'd only been an item for about three months. I know some girls would have jumped straight in to bed with him but I wasn't that type of girl, for me to have sex with someone love would have to be evolved and it wasn't there with Mike.

The kiss had turned in to a series of small pecks, my eyes opened as I pulled myself away from his grip. His face had the biggest grin spread across it.

"Hey", he murmured.

He was stepping closer to me again obviously wanting to re-start the make out session. I counted it with another small kiss before stepping to his side and taking hold of his hand.

"Let's go",

His face slid a bit, he raised his eyebrows signaling to the stairs, he wasn't giving in.

"Mike lets get out of here, we've only got a few days left before school starts"

He wrapped his arms around me as I started hedging towards the front door.

"Oh come on Bella, how often do we get the house to ourselves?"

He was starting to pull us back towards the stairs, tightening his grip on me.

"Mike were not taking this upstairs, no bedroom action! Come on you promised you'd take me out".

I put on my sad face; made my eyes all big and pouted my lips slightly; I knew he couldn't resist it long.

"God, you drive me insane Bella. There's only so much cock teasing a guy can take"

He took his hand out of mine and flung his hands to his head running his fingers through his hair, some one else I used to know used to do that as well - I mentally slapped myself again, I'd have to stop doing that, thinking of him.

"Oh come on Mike, please take me out"

I reached out and placed my hand on his arm; he relaxed under my touch and focused his eyes back on me. With a heavy sigh he took my hand and started to walk towards the front door.

"Come on then let's get out of here".

I got in to Mike's suburban, turned the stereo on to my favorite station, sat back against the seat and put my feet up on the dash board. Something was off, I could smell girls perfume; cheep girls perfume.

"Who's been in the car Mike?"

"What! Hey erm" I could practically see his brain trying to figure out what to say to me to get himself out of trouble.

"Mike someone's been in the car?"

"Chill Bella I gave Lauren a lift this morning before coming to yours, no big deal"

I automatically folded my arms across my knees drawing them closer to my body. I despised Lauren and she had never liked me. I don't know what I'd done to her. She was always just glaring at me, if the saying 'looks could kill' was true I'd be six feet under and still going down. Then there was her constant sarcastic bitchy comments, she wasn't happy unless she was making someone feel miserable. It came to a head one day a couple of weeks after Edward had left; Lauren was in one of her moods. She was sat there at the lunch table sticking her chest out and looking down her nose at everybody she thought inferior. I wouldn't have sat with her at lunch if I had a choice but she was friends with my friends so I just grinned and bared it. Lauren started talking about Edward and the Cullen family. I don't know what it was that made me react the way I did, maybe I felt the need to defend the person who'd saved me, maybe I liked Edward more than I'd like to admit to myself or it could have just been the fact that Lauren annoyed the hell out of me; so much so that when she started with all her bitchy comments I couldn't take anymore of her shit. I turned round to face her and hit her with all the force I could muster, she fell to the ground.

"Fucking shut up Lauren, you don't even know them"

A crowd of people were starting to gather round us, she was so stunned at first, she just sat there on the floor, her hands holding the part of her face I'd just struck, and there was blood. I could see it in her eye's she changed from 'stunned Lauren' to 'I want to kick your ass Lauren', she shifted her body and got up off the cafeteria floor and stepped towards me as if to strike me back when someone stepped in between us.

"I don't think so"

The voice was full of authority; it demanded respect immediately, so I was extremely shocked to realize that it came from the tiny form that was Alice Cullen, Edward's sister. What was more surprising was that Lauren backed down straight away, skulking off with her pack of dogs following obediently behind her? That was the day are lunch table got drawn in to two groups, I liked to think of them as the good and the evil, us and them worked to.

"Hello, earth to Bella"

"What" I glared at him,

"Don't be mad at me, come on Bella. I know you can't stand her but I've been mates with her for years"

"What ever", I sighed. I didn't want to ruin are day; so far it wasn't going so well.

"Look Mike I'm sorry, I know she's your mate don't worry about it, it's just me I'll get over it"

"Awww your cute when your jealous", he leant over and put a loose strand of my hair back behind my ear.

"Hey keep your eyes on the road"

Did he really think I was jealous of him spending time with Lauren, the thought didn't bother me? It should have; I mean Lauren pretty much threw herself at any boy who paid her the least bit of attention and she was alone in a car with my boyfriend. This was proof, I wasn't as in to this relationship with Mike as I should have been. It was the thought that maybe being with Mike was better then being alone with my heart aching for what it could never have that kept me with him.

I spent the rest of the day really trying hard to connect with Mike. We walked hand in hand across the beach, stopping occasionally to throw stones into the ocean. We ate dinner in a lovely little Italian where we fed off each others plates, you know like you see in the movies. I was really looking for that spark. I mean Mike was a good looking boy; he was the high school jock- head of the basketball team. He was tall with blonde hair and blue eyes but there was nothing special about him. Most of the girls in the school wanted to be with him yet he had picked me. So here I was trying to conjure up feeling's that just weren't there yet.

On the way home we drove along the cliffs at La Push, I loved to see the sunset. The colours were so rich; gold's, yellow's, red's, orange's and purples all merging together on the horizon. It was my favorite time of day.

When we got back to my house Mike kissed me before I got out of the car. My dad's car was out the front, thank god at least he wouldn't try pushing the sex subject again. However I was trying to ignite a spark between us so I threw myself in to the kiss more then I usually did, normally I let Mike take the lead, this time it was different. At first he was surprised by my enthusiasm but he soon caught on. I opened my mouth letting my tongue linger on his bottom lip. His lips parted allowing me entrance and then are tongues were fighting for dominance. His hand slowly moved down my body till he had hold of my hips, he pulled slightly signaling me to move over and climb on top of him. I wanted the closeness. I knew my dad was out the back of the house so he wouldn't be able to see us in the car so I thought what the hell. I climbed over the gear stick and straddled his lap. He crushed are bodies together moaning slightly as he could feel every inch of my body against his, I could feel how excited he was getting and that thought made me smile. His hand moved to the hem line of my top, I didn't want to stop him, it felt good, was this the connection I'd been looking for?

I didn't get to find out. The porch light switched on alerting me to my dad's presence. I untangled myself from Mikes embrace. He frowned, it made me giggle.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow, plus we have jess' party", I winked at him.

"Can we pick up were we left off", I could still see the lust in his eyes.

"Maybe, wait and see", I leant over and gave him one more kiss.

I climbed out of the car and was hit by the freezing fog that had suddenly descended on Forks. It was a drastic change in temperature to that of the inside of Mike's car. The car was hot and steamy. I shivered and pulled my arms around myself; I watched Mike drive off and then ran inside pleased with myself at how easily I'd turned Mike on. Maybe the connection would be there if I just let things flow.


	3. Chapter 3 issues

**Issues**

I got up early the next day, it was still dark. I looked at my clock the numbers glowing, letting me know it was 7.30 am. I walked over to the window drew back the curtain to reveal a think layer of silver mist; you could hardly see more than twenty feet in front of you. I let out a big sigh; this was normal weather in Forks.

I had the early shift at Newton's Sporting Good's Store, I had to open up. I managed to get a job there about a month after I'd moved to Forks. It was Mike's mum and dad's shop, Mike had probably forced them into offering me a job; so we could spend more time together. It sold camping, hiking and sports gear; it was a good business, Mike's family were one of the better off families in Forks.

Working with Mike had it's up and down sides. The good things were, one, he was always trying to make me laugh and keep me entertained; two, I never had to work too hard Mike was always trying to help me and three we could sneak off the stockroom for a quick make-out session – though that was really one of Mike's positive reasons – when it was quite. The bad things were that Mike could get quite jealous if a male customer was paying me attention, he saw it more often then I did, I just thought they were being friendly but Mike said he knew when a guy was coming on to a girl. He had a tendency to watch me a lot, discreetly but I could sense it and it creped me out. Sometimes I felt claustrophobic. Recently I'd been worrying that we were spending too much time together. It's not healthy in a relationship to live in each others pockets. But school was starting back up again on Monday so I'd be seeing my other friends again soon. I'd been working almost every day of the holidays and the one day off I did have I'd blown off Billy's birthday and catching up with Jacob to spend time with Mike.

I was really looking forward to tonight's party at Jess' house. It was to mark the end of the spring break, plus it was a good excuse for letting my hair down, alcohol, music and friends, it was just what I needed; it was perfect.

Work passed quickly, Mike kept making suggestions, trying to get me in the stockroom but it was a really busy day so I managed to mostly avoid his persistent advances. I rushed home – as fast as my Chevy truck would take me. I was all hyped up about this party. It had been ages since I'd had a proper laugh and just hung out friends, though there was really only one friend I wanted to catch up with, Alice.

My dad was working the evening shift at the Steffi's office so I wouldn't see him until the next morning. Knowing the house was empty and my house was detached so I wouldn't bother any of the neighbors I turned on my stereo put on my latest album, 'Hook Me Up' by The Veronica's and hit play. I turned it up loud and jumped in the shower.

I stepped out if the shower, the room full of warm stream and wrapped myself up tightly in a towel. I'd already picked what I was going to wear before I'd gone to work so my outfit was waiting for me once I'd got back to my room. I was wearing my favorite jeans, dark blue with a faded look and a new top. It was white with short sleeves that were attached lower than usual, if you were to hold your arms up it looked like you had wings; I'd nicknamed it my angel top. It had a low back and some detail around the neck line; it was a very dressy top for me. I normally liked plain and simple clothes but Alice had bought this for me and I knew her face would light up tonight if she saw me wearing it.

I let my hair dry naturally. I liked it hanging in loose curls to just above my waist. Mike preferred it when I had it poker straight but I was a natural girl so he would just have to deal with it plus this wasn't a Mike and me night this was a Bella catching up with friend's night. I smiled to myself at the thought of having some girly fun. I applied some mascara and clear lip gloss – that was the extent on my make up collection – and looked in the mirror to check out the final masterpiece. I looked nice. There were plenty of people who would be there that had made more of an effort and would be dressed up. There would be short skirts, dresses, stiletto's, sparkly jewelry, plastered on make up and hair spray; I just wasn't one of those girls. I slipped on my flat white dolly shoes to finish my look, Alice would be pleased with my effort, she'd been working on me since we'd become friends to take more of an interest in what I wore, I knew she'd be proud.

I jumped in my truck and drove to the other side of town to Jess' house. The house was larger than mine, very modern for Forks; it was very angular with lots of large glass windows. There was a fenced off porch at the front of the house. It ran all the way around the house and I noticed it was full of my school friends as I parked on Jess' drive way. The house was very grand and pretty, it suited Jess.

I was locking up my truck when my phone went off, I glanced at it, it was Alice

"Bella, where are you??" she spoke in her musical tone, she sounded slightly stressed out.

"I've just pulled up, wont be long, are you inside?" Why was she worrying? I wasn't late was I?

"Why would I be inside you're the only one here I came to see and your not here yet" she stated it like it was obvious that she wouldn't be inside until I was there and I should have realized it.

"Well I'll grab a drink and meet you out the back in five minutes I just have to say hi to Jess"

Alice was my best girl friend and had been since the day she stepped in between me and Lauren in the school canteen. We'd grown really close yet I always got the feeling that there was something she wanted to tell me but she wouldn't or couldn't tell me what it was. It saddened me a little to realize that she's couldn't trust me with her secret but I didn't want to push her, I knew it was difficult for her to be friends with me.

I was the only person she was friends with besides the rest of her family and it was only Alice out of the Cullen's that really spoke to me. Alice's boyfriend Jasper would acknowledge me when we saw each other, he'd nod his head of smile slightly sometimes I even got a hello, but mostly it was just a nod. His sister Rose quite often just glared at me. To be honest I was too scared to look at her sometimes she looked like she wanted to bite my head off. Alice said I was silly and that Rose was a lovely person once you got to know her, I was sure however that Rose had no intention of getting to know me. Then there was Emmet Cullen, Alice's big brother and Rose's boyfriend. He was massive, all muscle, and maybe he was in training for some weight lifting or wrestling tournament. He seemed the most carefree of the Cullen's; he was always goofing around with them when he thought no one was watching. I quite often thought that it was only because he didn't want to upset his girlfriend that we hadn't become friends. Maybe it would have been different if _he _would have stayed but he didn't so what was the use of wondering.

Alice never really talked about Edward around me though I think she missed him a lot, you could see it in her eye's on the rare occasions she would mention him. Her eye's seemed to hallow out at the mention of his name like there was no end to the depth of them. They had always seemed to closest of the Cullen five. But Alice had me now and although we only really hung out at school and at the odd party I could tell that she really enjoyed my friendship. She was the sister I never knew I wanted but was extremely glad to have.

The main reason me and Alice didn't see each other outside of school was because Mike didn't like her. He said she was "weird, bordering on crazy" – she usually could be quite hyper, always on the move, dancing around – that was one of the reasons I loved her so much she was a free spirit and wasn't afraid to be different. I knew the really reason behind Mikes dislike to her stemmed from the fact that she was Edward's sister. Mike disliked anything to do with Edward, his family, the kind of car he used to drive. Mike was a little extreme and very self conscience when it came to Edward.

I walked in to Jess' kitchen and found her attached to her boyfriend, Eric's face. I decided I'd catch her later so I grabbed a beer out of the sink – it was filled with ice to keep the drink cold – and headed out the back to find Alice. As I walked out into the night air the thought that Mike hated Alice so much for such stupid reasons made me angry. He moaned at me when I spent time with her, trying to make me feel guilty and it normally worked. Alice and I had resorted to sneaking around to see each other – sometimes it felt like we were having an affair. What made it worse was that when it came to Lauren, the local school bike hanging around with Mike I was supposed to just grin and bare it. My relationship with Mike had some serious issue's we needed to work on but that could wait. Tonight I was seeing my bestest girl friend.


	4. Chapter 4 missed you more

Missed You More

I walked out the door at the back of the house and scanned around the vast garden searching for Alice. Jess' back garden was amazing, like something of the cover of a specialist magazine. The lawn looked like it stretched on for miles. It had a rockery, a water feature – with fish - , there were gigantic pine trees that fenced off the encroaching forest and at the very bottom was a large gazebo. It had a picnic table in its center and a couple of over head heat lamps - a must have in drizzly Forks.

Alice was sat on top of the table with her legs bouncing up and down on the bench, like she was anxious about something. That was until she looked up and saw me. Alice was so beautiful and dainty. Her spiky ebony black hair was a stark contrast to her extremely pale complexion. The smile that broke across her face was priceless; it set her eye's sparkling in pure delight that she could see me. Her eye's the same golden caramel colour as '_his'_ , if only his eye's had lit up like that at the mere sight of me – again I forced a mental slap for myself. These thoughts were starting to catch me by surprise. I used to let myself think of him every now and then, when something reminded me of him; like when I saw a silver Volvo. It felt like my heart had literally jumped out of my chest and in to my mouth, just at the sight of his car. The disappointment that came with the realization that it wasn't Edward was almost painful, like I couldn't breathe properly. These 'feelings' – I suppose you would call them that – were starting to happen more often and my dreams felt so real and were slightly embarrassing when I thought about them the following morning, I only hoped I wasn't talking in my sleep, I'd never be able to look my Dad in the eye again if he had any idea what I was dreaming about.

It was something that a girl would have told to her best friend and I really wanted to talk to Alice about it but I knew I couldn't. Alice was already against me going out with Mike. She wasn't nasty about him; she just dropped hints that she thought I could do a lot better than him. The fact that I was having erotic dreams about another man would only spur her on in encouraging me to finish it with Mike. If she found out the man staring in my x-rated dreams three nights a week was her dearly departed brother, well I don't know what she'd think.

Alice made straight for me, so quickly that if I'd have blinked i'm sure I would have missed her graceful movements.

"Bella, Bella", she practically jumped on me. All I could do was smile back at her and return her embrace.

"Hey Alice, I missed you".

"Missed you more lady", she released me from her hug but still kept hold of my shoulders. Alice stepped back to get a better look at me, her smile was automatically catching and I smiled right back at her, giggling.

"Taking in your handy work Alice, what do you think?" I gave her a twirl. "Is all you hard work starting to pay off?"

"I feel like a proud mamma", she span me round once more. "Bella your beautiful".

"Thanks Alice, I don't think I'd go that far", I shrugged, "I look nice though I'll admit it".

Alice folded her arm across her chest, I'd upset her. She looked like a spoilt child that had just had her favorite toy taken away from them.

"Bella will you ever see yourself clearly? You look so much better then nice, looking at a painting is nice, you are beautiful and one day I'll get you to realize it".

She rested her hands on her hips as she tried to look forceful.

"Is that going to be your new mission in life – to make me beautiful" I joked with her.

"That's just it Bella, you already are beautiful, you just refuse to see it".

"That's what best friends are meant to say, but thanks anyway"

"Oh really what about best friends brothers, what if they think the same thing as the best friend"

She spoke so quickly I thought I'd miss heard her and referring to herself in the third person only confused me more. My mind raced to decipher what Alice had just told me. Alice was my best friend that part was easy to understand but the part about her brother, what did she mean? One of her brothers thought I was beautiful, that's what she was telling me. Emmett was with Rosalie and no one could compare to her beauty. That left Edward. My heart felt like it was soaring high above me. Could Edward think I was beautiful? I could hear my blood pulsing through my body, I felt slightly light headed just at the thought that Edward could think of me that way. Then it hit me like I'd run flat out in to a brick wall. If Edward had thought I was beautiful he had never made his opinion of me known, I can't have made that much of an impression on him or he'd still be here with his family – with me. My beauty wasn't that captivating and with that thought my flying heart plummeted back down to earth. The smile that had been present since I'd met up with Alice was gone.

"Hey Bella what's up? What did I say?"

"Its nothing Alice", I tried to smile at her but my heart felt like it was in my stomach – why did I let myself hope – she didn't buy it for a second.

"It's not nothing Bella, its because I mentioned Edward", she paused, you could see her deciding whether or not to say what she wanted to say "and that I said that he thought you were beautiful", she continued.

"What" – the hope was rising up inside of me again.

"You heard me Bella Swan, my brother Edward thinks your beautiful and he has wonderful taste so you're going to have to believe me when I tell what you are, ok."

Her hands were on her hips again, I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips.

"What' so funny?"

"It's nothing Alice, seriously, if you say I'm beautiful who am I to tell you otherwise."

"That's better", she grabbed my hand and started walking back towards the gazebo. "I'm your best friend I wouldn't lie to you. Now I just wish that you'd trust my judgment as to other things as well."

She looked over my shoulder back towards Jess' house. Mike was coming out of the back door, followed by his best friends Eric and Tyler. You could tell by the amount of noise they were making that they'd had a lot to drink already.

"Come on quick before he sees's me", I jumped behind the nearest cover I could find, a rose bush. I couched down making sure there was no way he could have seen me from the back of Jess' house.

"Bella Swan are you hiding from your delightful boyfriend?" You could just see the sarcasm rolling off her in waves.

"I'm not hiding, I just want to spend some time with you, is that a crime?"

"No it's not a crime", she held her hand out to me to help me off the floor. "It's just strange the lengths you go to so we can spend some time together, were best friends not forbidden lovers".

I didn't know what to say to that. She was right and I knew it. Alice sensing my stress put her arm around my shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze and smiled at me.

"Come on Bella, this is meant to be a party, lets go and enjoy ourselves. I promise I'll keep my mouth shut about your choice of men"

"Thanks Alice. I know your looking out for me; I know you can't stand him..." I was going to continue, get it off my chest, tell her about my reservations about me and Mike; obviously leaving out the part about the Edward staring in my dreams but she cut me off.

"Ah ah ah, no more man chat, it's an Alice and Bella night remember" She pointed between the two of us. I had to laugh; she was so good at cheering me up.

We walked down to the gazebo, she resumed her position on top if the picnic table, while I sat on the bench facing away from the house. Alice stayed true to her word. We spoke about out families - my dad loved Alice – school starting up again and what we'd done during the holidays. I'd been working – we didn't mention Mike – Alice had spent most of her time with her boyfriend Jasper. Her eyes lit up whenever she talked about him. She loved him and I could tell by the way I'd seen him act with her that he totally adored her and worshiped the ground she walked on. She was so lucky, they seemed a perfect match.

We sat there just talking – catching up – for hours and I'd not laughed so much in weeks. I had a few more beers, I felt so relaxed all my earlier worries totally forgotten. This was what I needed.

The party was going great. Almost everyone in our year at school was there, I could hear the music all the way down at the bottom of the garden. I wouldn't be surprised if my dad showed up soon to tell Jess to turn it down. There was a group of drunken lads messing about in the garden with a football; one of them kicked it straight towards Alice. I didn't see it until she had it in her hands; she'd managed to catch it before it hit her.

"What the hell. What you playing at you…." I turned round ready to lay in to whoever was responsible, only to be met by Mike. He was standing with his arms folded across his chest, flanked on either side by Eric and Tyler. I was stunned in to silence, I didn't know what to do.

"Nice reflexes Cullen" Mike sneered.

The way he said her name made me see red. I snatched the ball back off Alice, who had hopped down of the table by now and was stood at my side, and threw it with all my might back at Mike. It hit him smack in the face. There was a horrible crunching sound and I saw blood. I felt extremely satisfied with myself. Though I was sure if Mike wasn't quite so intoxicated he would have been able to catch it easily.

"What the fuck Bella" he mumbled - he was still holding the bridge of his nose trying to stop the bleeding.

"You ass, you meant for that to hit her" I waited – no answer.

"Didn't you", I was shouting now, some people had started to come out the back of Jess' house to see what all the commotion was about.

"She's a……she's a…."

"She's a what?" I demanded.

He reached out to touch my arm, I shrugged him off.

"She's a freak Bella, they all are." He yelled back at me.

"She's my best friend, that's what she is, I don't know what you are to me anymore".

He moved to grab me again; I stepped back out of his reach.

"What do you mean? Don't be like that Bella"

I wanted to get away from here. I turned looking for Alice. She was standing slightly behind me.

"Alice can you give me a ride home"

"Yea sure thing", she held my hand moving me further away from Mike.

"Don't be such a bitch Bella" he called to me as we started walking off towards Alice's car.

"Fuck you" I shouted back over my shoulder, I gave him the hand signal as well – a bit childish maybe but he deserved it.

"Bloody fucking Cullen's, what's so great about them?" I heard him mouthing off to his friends.

Alice gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, letting me know to let his last comment go and that we were ok before leading me to her car. She'd borrow Emmett's jeep.

"Thanks for this Alice" I smiled meekly at her.

"I won't tell you I told you so, but I did"

"Yea I know. My choice in men leaves much to be desired"

"I agree with you there, come on lets get you home"

She sped off along the main high street, back to my house. My phone vibrated in my back pocket. I knew before I looked at the screen that it would be Mike calling. I turned it off. I had nothing more to say to him.


	5. Chapter 5 Meddling

**Meddling**

**Edwards's point of view –** Edward comes home to visit his family (the night that Alice is out with Bella).

The sense of relief was automatic as I sat here with my family, in my old home. I knew I would miss them when I made the decision to move away, but I never realized just how much. What were my choices though? As far as I could tell there were only two options for me. I could remove myself from temptations path – leave Forks and its dark angel behind me; making her safe - or I could choose to stay and fight the future that fate had dealt me.

I knew realistically that it would be nearly impossible to do. Alice had seen two versions of my future. In the first my angel, Bella would be killed by me; possibly an accident or maybe temptation proving to much – the beast inside of me winning my eternal battle within. I shouldered at the thought of how close that future had nearly come true the first day I'd met her. Yet somehow the second vision disturbed me more, Bella no longer the soft beautiful creature she is now. In the second vision Bella was a creature of darkness, a vampire like me. Did I change her? My selfish nature taking over so I could have her with me forever I didn't know but I couldn't risk her life or soul by staying here. I would end up taking one or the other if I stayed – no one ever bet against Alice, I wasn't going to start now – so I did the only other option available to me, I ran away so I could keep her safe.

My mother, Esme, was so happy to see me. She was the most caring, whole hearted person I knew. I'd hurt her deeply when I moved away. She opened her arms to embrace me,

"Edward, I'm so happy your home", her mind gave her away.

_He's still not happy – his eyes, the sadness – he should stay with us. We can help him through this. I'll talk to Carlisle get him to make Edward see sense_

She realized I could hear her thoughts through her mind and smiled at me.

All of my family tried to be as honest around me as possible, there was no use in lying, and their thoughts would eventually give them away. But they would still try to keep their thoughts private if they thought they could possibly cause me pain. My 'gift' was sometimes more of a curse than anything else especially when it came to my family. I didn't like to pry – I hear much more than anyone wants me to – but people can't control their thoughts so we just tried to be as honest as we could with one another.

I embraced all of my family. A slap on the back from Carlisle, a quick hug from Rosalie and a bumped fist with Emmett and Jasper. Scanning the room I wondered where Alice was. We were the closest out of my siblings, bonded together tightly through our 'gifts'. With my mind reading and Alice being able to see the future we made quite a team. No one in the family would play games against us. They claimed we had an unfair advantage. I smiled at the thought of her. I'd missed her dearly. She was always so vibrant and happy; I couldn't wait to see her. Normally I wouldn't have had to ask but no one was thinking about my favorite sister so I didn't have a choice.

"Where's Alice?"

No one answered me. The more I thought about it the quicker reality sunk in. No one had thought of Alice since I'd got home. That was strange. Alice was such a dynamic member of the family; she was always up to something with one of them. Were the blocking my gift? One glance at all their nervous faces told me they were keeping something from me.

"What's going on? Where's Alice? Is she ok?"

I could hear the panic in my voice, saturated in every word, what weren't they telling me. I shouldn't have left.

"Jasper"

I turned to face the one person on this planet who cared for Alice more than I did. He looked away from me so I couldn't read his face. He thought of anything apart from Alice. His gaze was locked on Carlisle who in turn was staring back at me.

_Someone tell him or I will and I'm sure you'll break it to him with more tacked then me._

Even though she didn't speak out loud I recognized the tone of her thoughts straight away. I turned looking for her. She was stood leaning against the wall by the doorway, her arms across her chest. I was next to her in less then a second.

"Rose, tell me"

I could feel the anger rising inside of me. What could be so bad that they had all kept it from me? I grabbed her shoulder.

"Hey, chill Edward"

Emmett placed his hand on my back. I looked up at him, he looked concerned. I shouldn't be taking this out on Rose.

"I'm sorry Rose", I released her, and "I didn't mean to grab you". I turned round to face the rest of my family, "Will someone please tell me what's got you all behaving like this".

All their eyes looked down to the floor but someone's thoughts finally gave it away.

_She's off playing human with her new best friend_

You could always count on Rose to cut the crap and go straight to the point but I could sense her hostility. She didn't like what ever Alice was up to.

It took a few seconds for what Rose had said to sink in. Alice was out with a friend, Rose had said best friend - that used to be me – she had also said human, no wonder Rose didn't approve. Why would they keep that away from me? Realization hit me like a lightening bolt. I didn't need to ask I already knew the answer but I asked anyway.

"Who?" I demanded.

No one spoke but they all thought it at the same time

_Bella_

"No!!!!!!" I yelled, my hands balled up in to fists as I lashed out at the wall next to me, putting a large hole where only a few seconds earlier had hung Esme's favorite Picasso painting. I hung my head, how could this happen.

Carlisle stepped forward placing both hands on my shoulders, showing his support for me.

"Edward let me explain", he spoke calmly.

I shrugged him off – I didn't need his support. They should have told me.

"Explain what?" I spat at him. "How Alice is trying to undo everything I've managed to do to keep Bella safe from what I am".

Even though I was angry it felt good to think of her. It was the first time I'd said her name out loud in months.

"Alice is very careful with Bella; she would never do anything to put her at risk".

"Don't you see how wrong this is, being with Alice puts Bella at constant risk. It's why I left, Bella shouldn't be with us, she deserves better than us, Alice knows this but what I think doesn't matter right….. If Alice wants to be friends with Bella we let her and dam the consequences for the woman I love"

The room was deathly quite but their thoughts were screaming at me.

_Oh you have got to be kidding me. I thought he'd be over his infatuation by now –_ Rose.

_He loves her, he actually said it –_ Emmett

_I hope he doesn't take this out on Alice –_ Jasper

_We'll help you son –_ Carlisle

_Stay Edward, please stay - _Esme.

I sank down to the floor, all their thoughts overpowering me. My head fell in to my hands. If I could have cried I would have rivers flowing from my eyes. I'd done it for her, my dark angel, the beautiful creature that had captured my senses and awoken my dead heart. I'd moved away from all I cared about in this world to keep her safe from me and my kind. I'd hurt myself because she mattered more to me than my own happiness. My pain was the only way I could express my love for her. How could Alice do this? To me? To Bella?

Carlisle knelt down beside me. I looked up at him, his eye's full of sadness and concern for me.

"Alice never meant for you to be hurt Edward. You know she cares too much about you".

"What was she thinking Carlisle? How long has this been going on? Are you all friends with her? Why didn't you tell me?" I was rambling but there was so much I needed to know.

"Edward slow down, I'll answer your questions son to the best of my knowledge but you should speak to Alice"

He held his hand out to me. I took it and pulled myself up. The rest of my family had left us alone. I couldn't hear their thoughts anymore so they must have taken off at speed to give me enough space to sort my head out. I sat down on the bench next to my piano, letting my fingers glide along the keys. My father pulled me from my thoughts.

"What do you want to know first then Edward?"

I turned to face Carlisle who was sat on the sofa behind me looking at me with cautious eyes.

"How long have they been friends?"

"A while"

"How long Carlisle?"

"They started speaking about a month after you left as far as I know. They have become quite close. Alice loves Bella, she would never hurt her"

He was speaking the truth, I couldn't deny that.

"That doesn't make this right"

I couldn't look at him anymore, I looked back to the piano, and all I saw was hopelessness and darkness.

"Are you all friends with her?"

"We are all quite fond of her"

"That's not what I asked" my anger was seeping through in to my voice, I could taste the venom on my tongue.

"Alice is the only one who spends time with Bella, though I occasionally see her at the hospital…" I cut him off, was she sick?

"The hospital! Is Bella ok?"

"Oh yes I didn't mean to alarm you. She tends to trip or fall a lot, just minor injuries. But getting back to your earlier question, I think Emmett would like to get to know her as well but he keeps his distance out of respect for your wishes", he reached out and squeezed my shoulder, forcing me to look up at him.

"At least some one listens to me" I sighed, what should I do now?

"I know this is hard for you Edward"

"Why didn't anyone think to tell me about my sisters blossoming relationship with Bella?"

"Because I told them not to"

Alice! I looked up, she was stood in the doorway to the kitchen.

"I didn't want to upset you but I love her too Edward. She important to me too I would never risk her, you must know that."

Part of me wanted to yell at her – make her stay away from Bella – another part of me wanted to thank her for keeping Bella in my world. Alice had been in Bella's life for months and Bella was still safe, maybe I'd been wrong to leave. Maybe Alice was wrong with her earlier visions of the future, maybe I didn't have to stay away anymore but then again Alice had never been the danger to Bella. I was. She was my temptation, not Alice's.

"Am I forgiven Edward", she swung from side to side looking like a child and smiled sweetly at me.

I'd missed her so much, how could I be angry with her.

"For now you're forgiven but i'm still furious with you Alice"

She flung herself in to my arms.

"Oh Edward, she'll be so happy your home, sorry I wasn't here when you got back, I didn't see you returning until after I was already out and I was having fun watching Bella break someone's nose….."

"What"

"Just her dumb ass boyfriend"

Even though my heart hadn't beat in nearly ninety years to hear that she had given her heart to somebody else was excruciating and to realize that whoever had captured her heart had hurt her in some way – he must have hurt her to force a reaction that violent from Bella, she was a gentle caring person. A low growl built up in my chest. I would hunt down and kill anyone that ever hurt her. Alice who was still hugging me felt my rise in tension.

"Edward he didn't hurt her, she's fine. I just dropped her off at home. I think you'd be quite impressed with how Bella can handle herself" My body relaxed with the relief that flooded my system.

"I think Mike's going to have a nice black eye on Monday for the start of school".

Alice had released me but kept hold of my hand. She pulled me over to the sofa, sitting down next to me. I was the first one to speak.

"Mike….Mike Newton. She's with him."

Of all the people she could have, why would she be with him. Last time I was here Mike was having an on off thing with some girl named Lauren. Maybe he'd changed but I doubted it, from what I could remember – and vampires remember everything – of his thoughts. He was a pig, someone who was out for what ever he could get from a girl. Bella could do better then him.

"Yea I told her that her choice in men leaves a lot to be desired. I think she might start listening to me after what happened tonight".

"What exactly did happen tonight?"

I had no right to know, I'd removed myself from Bella's life but now I was here I wanted to know everything, all that I'd missed whilst being away. Alice was only too happy to fill me in on the past few months.

Alice told me of how she and Bella had to sneak around to see each other because Mike had some grudge against us Cullen's. I heard about how Mike had tried to hit Alice with the football and how Bella had got all protective over Alice and that had resulted in Mike and Bella fighting.

"Bella was protective over you", I was a little envious.

"Not just me Edward, all of us, though she doesn't know the rest of us well but especially you"

"Me"

"That's how we became friends; some one was bitching about you in the school canteen. Bella jumped up to defend you. It got pretty heated. I stepped in, I couldn't stand by and let anything happen to her not when it was over you."

"She doesn't even know me".

"She likes you a lot more than she'd ever admit to me but she's a rubbish liar, you should see her eyes light up when I talk about you, they sparkle".

This was much worse than I'd thought. For me to like Bella was Bad enough, that pain was my own but for Bella to like me; it was wrong. Our kinds couldn't be together. She would get hurt and that tormenting thought had kept me away all these months.

"You are staying Edward, you can stay"

"I can't", I shook my head.

"You can, Bella can be in our lives, she's already in mine, and she's stronger than you think Edward".

"Does she know?" Alice stopped dead in her tracks.

"Does she know what you are Alice, what we are?" she didn't have to speak

_No not yet but she could handle it Edward, she could._

"She's not to know Alice, think of the danger to her".

"You're leaving", she stated _you don't have to._

"Don't I. Have your visions changed?"

_You wont hurt her Edward, you couldn't don't you see that._

I smiled at her and placed my hand on top of hers.

"You have too much faith in me Alice"

"You belong together Edward. All these months apart hasn't changed that. Your lives are linked. She belongs to you, just as you are hers".

"She's not mine Alice"

I wished it could be true but I wouldn't dam her soul for the rest of eternity. I got up to leave, Alice wouldn't let go of my hand.

"Edward please, stay, see her".

I would have traded all that I had to be able to stay here with her, my dark angel but her life meant more to me than my happiness. I wouldn't do that to her.

"I can't" I whispered.

With that I ran out into the night letting the darkness of the forest hide my pain. I could hear Alice calling after me. I heard Carlisle comforting her, telling her to give me some space. I ran as fast as I could, I wasn't planning on stopping anytime soon. I'd had enough space to last ten life times. I'd been on my own, wandering the wilderness constantly thinking of her. Wishing and hoping that she was happy.

I didn't realize where I was going until I got there. I was stood at the edge of the tree's that surrounded Bella's garden. Her scent was all around me, it was intoxicating. She was there in her kitchen, sat at the table looking deep in thought, what I would give to read her mind, to speak to her again. I couldn't though, I would leave her safe. I loved her enough to do that. She was more beautiful then I remembered. Her ivory pale skin, her dark mahogany hair slightly curled to her waist, her deep chocolate eyes, she was perfect, my angel. I wanted her. I needed her. I loved her.


	6. Chapter 6 storms ahead

Storms Ahead

I was woken up by a sudden flash of light. Startled, I looked around my room searching for the source. I half expected to see my dad standing in the middle of my bedroom with his flash light pointed at my face – making sure I'd come home form the party – but I was alone. I glanced over at the clock on my bedside table; the neon green numbers showed me it was 4.43 am.

"Argghh" I moaned, closing my eyes.

I turned over and snuggled down further in my duvet; determined that I was going to be able to get back to the dreamless sleep I'd just been abruptly awoken from. My determination was short lived as crashing rumbles of thunder shock the windows of my house, followed by a series of constant white flashes. I couldn't resist the urge to watch the storm so wrapped in my duvet I sat in my old rocking chair by the window watching it run its course. I'd always liked thunder storms since I was a child – they had been one of my favorite things about visiting Forks. The storm lasted just over half an hour. I crawled back over to my bed feeling very sleep deprived. The rhythmic sound of the pouring rain against my window helped me drift off easily in to a peaceful sleep.

My head was spinning slightly when I woke in the morning; mainly to do with the six bottles of beer I'd drank at Jess' party but partly to do with a serve lack of sleep, due to the storm and all the earlier numerous missed call's I'd received from Mike since our fight. When I didn't answer my mobile he tried the house phone – he wasn't taking the hint – I didn't want to speak to him. He'd been such a jerk to Alice and to me. By half twelve I'd unplugged it.

At around one I was just getting ready for bed when the text messages started. I was bombarded with them, some saying how sorry he was for shouting at me and how he had forgiven me for braking his nose. Some were aimed at trying to make me feel guilty, they didn't work; I had nothing to feel guilty for – he'd got what he deserved – and finally there were the abusive ones. They started coming at around two in the morning. Telling me I was a "fucking bitch", "a whore" and a "freak lover". I actually laughed when I'd received that one. I forwarded it to Alice's mobile but it worried her and she rang me.

"Bella, do you want me to come over?"

"Nah Alice I'm fine, he's just being a jerk"

"Are you sure, Mike's drunk and Charlie's working all night"

"I'm locked in safe and secure, don't worry about me Alice" I joked with her.

"Well keep your phone with you, just incase you need me" she sounded motherly; I had to stop the giggle that was threatening to escape my lips.

"If I need you I'll ring you, promise" I couldn't help but laugh.

"You better had Bella"

"I will", she was starting to worry me slightly, had I locked the doors and shut the windows? I shock it off; I was becoming as paranoid as Alice.

"I'd put your phone on silent though, otherwise you'll be up all night. I don't think Mike's the type of guy to give in."

"Ok Alice, I will, good night"

"Night Bella, get some sleep."

Did Alice know something I didn't, sleep, I wish, I'd only managed a total of about three hours all night.

When my dad had come in from working the night shift he'd gone to bed for a few hours – he'd had a quite night – before getting up early so we could spend the afternoon down at La Push. My dad drove my truck. I was to sleep deprived to concentrate on driving but had refused point blank to be driven around in the police cruiser. Alice had text me just before we were about to set off.

_Hey Bella, hope Mike didn't bother you to much. What are your plans for today? Want to meet up? Alice x_

I thought about spending the day with Alice, part of me would loved to have spent a girly day with her but realistically I didn't have the energy today to keep up with her. I replied,

_Hey Alice, Mike left me alone eventually but I was kept awake by the storm. I'm feeling pretty crap so am just going to chill out with my Dad down at La Push. See you tomorrow, Bella x._

A day down at La Push was just what I needed after the events of the previous evening. It was a place I could relax in, it felt safe and homely. I had on my sweat pants and a polo shirt, my hair was just pulled back off my face in to a high pony tail, I was comfy. I could be the real me here, not the Bella that was Mike's girlfriend.

Jacob Black and I had been friends since I'd moved to Forks, we'd known each other as children though. My dad, Charlie was close friends with Jacob's dad, Billy Black, the tribal leader on the Indian reservation. Jacob was a couple of years younger than me. I really liked him, not in a romantic way; he was more like a brother to me. We were really close. I could tell him almost anything and I hoped he felt the same way about me.

We pulled up outside Jacob's house. The house was small but quaint. It was wooden and painted red – the paint had faded over the years, Jacob and I were meant to be painting it sometime during the summer. It looked out over the rest of the reservation. Jacob was sat out the front in his garden; it looked like he was tinkering about with some mechanical contraption again. That was his favorite thing to do, fix broken mechanical objects. He turned and looked up as the noise from my old truck broke through his concentration. A large grin appeared on his face with the realization that I was here to see him.

Jacob was very good looking – pretty for a boy – I had a feeling he was going to break a few hearts as he grew up. He had hair as black as coal that he almost always wore tied back; it was past his shoulders if he wore it down. His skin was a lovely olive tanned colour, a stark contrast to my pale complexion.

He gripped me in a bear hug as I tried to get out of the truck.

"Bella"

"Hey Jake…..can't breathe" I gasped.

He put me down laughing at his own enthusiasm

"Sorry Bella got carried away. I haven't seen you in ages."

"Yeah I know Jake; sorry I didn't make it to Billy's birthday. I was

Ermm…. Busy.

He was looking at my face. I don't know what he saw there but his eye's turned sad and he held his hand out for me to hold. I took it.

"You can do so much better than Newton Bella"

"So I keep getting told" I smiled meekly at him, he didn't buy it. Squeezing my hand he pulled me away form the house in the direction of the beach. I didn't resist, I was happy to go sensing one of Jacob's 'big brother' chats coming on.

"Let's get out of here, you can tell me what's been going on" he looked over my shoulder, back towards his house. I turned looking in the same direction to see our dad's together on the porch of Jacob's house.

"Just heading down to the beach, we'll be back for dinner" he shouted over to them.

"Ok kids have fun" Billy's voice carried over to us, we waved back and made our way down to the beach.

La Push beach was breathtakingly beautiful. On one side you had the dark encroaching forest, on the other you had the enormous sandy coloured cliff faces, with there jagged rock formations making them seem threatening like a medieval castle's battlements. It was like nature was protecting itself – placing the forest and cliffs as guards to the peaceful beach that lay in between.

We lay down on the sand, both of us propped up on our elbows looking out over the sea. I watched the waves rolling along the shore. Jacob touched my arm, gaining my attention.

"So what's happened?"

"How do you know anything's happened?"

"You're here"

"And"

"And that means you've fallen out with Newton"

Jacob never called him Mike, like Alice Jacob thought I could do so much better than Mike.

"You'd be with him not me if you two were ok!" he explained.

That stung. I knew I hadn't been down to see Jacob for a while, but I didn't think he'd hold it against me. I'd been busy with work and Mike. He was right though and I knew it.

"Jacob I'm sorry, I've been a crap friend to you lately"

"Hey, you're alright" he laughed.

At least he didn't seem bitter. I'd dropped him to hang out with my 'jerk' of a boyfriend, I wondered if I would have been able to act the same if the situation had been reversed, if it had been Jacob who'd blown me off constantly for week's so he could see more of his girlfriend; I'm sure I wouldn't be as forgiving as he was.

"Besides I'm a great friend so come on spill it. Tell me what's been going on with you."

I sat up wondering where to begin. I couldn't tell Alice about Edward and I really needed to speak to someone, so Jacob was a good a someone as I was going to get. I decided however to leave '_his_' name out of it. Admitting my feelings to me was going to be hard enough. I wasn't ready yet to declare them out loud; even if it was just to Jacob. Saying it out loud would make it true, that I loved '_him'_ and that he'd left without knowing it. My eye's welled up with tears. Jacob noticed and sat up next to me wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Stupid sea mist, it's stinging my eye's"

I used the sleeve of my jacket to wipe away my traitor tears.

I told him about how I'd been spending all my free time with Mike, how he wanted us to have sex but I wasn't ready to go that far. I looked up at Jacob's face expecting a reaction as I mentioned sex but he just nodded his head signaling me to continue, so I did. We talked about how I was dreaming of '_someone'_ else – Jacob never pushed to find out who that someone was – and how I'd tried to force a connection with Mike to help me forget about _'him'_. Jacob just sat there with me patiently letting me get all my feelings off my chest.

Eventually I got to the part about how Mike had treated Alice and how it resulted in Mike and me arguing. I told him about all the phone call's and showed him the text message's on my phone.

"Bell's do you want me to have a word with him? Tell him to back off!"

He turned me to look at him. Jacob would defend me to Mike but Mike wouldn't take kindly to someone telling him what to do, it would result in a fight and Mike wasn't one to fight fair he'd have his buddy's behind him. I didn't want Jacob evolved in that.

"No its ok. I'm going to tell him at school tomorrow that it's over"

"Good, how's he going to take it?"

"Don't know. There's probably loads of girls waiting to go out with him, he'll have help getting over me I'm sure of it."

"Well you know where I am if you need me"

"Yea thanks", I lent forward and kissed his cheek.

"What was that for?"

"For being you and listening to me"

"Well I got to say this guy you like is one lucky fella"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you love him, unless he hasn't got a pulse he won't be able to resist you" he laughed.

"I didn't say I loved him" I looked down at my hands my fingers nervously intertwining with each other.

"Didn't need to Bell's. I know you better than you know yourself sometimes, your eye's sparkle when you mention him".

I looked up; I wasn't going to say it, not yet.

"So how's your love life anyway"

I thought I'd change the subject away from me. Last time I'd been here Jacob had told me he had a crush on some girl named Leah – the problem being she was already in a relationship with an older boy on the reservation.

"Nothing new"

"You'll find someone Jacob"

"Sure sure"

The clouds were rolling in coving the blue sky in a fluffy blue coat. Deciding the heavens were about to open above us we gathered up our jackets and hurried back up the path towards Jacob's house. It was getting late and dinner would be ready soon. We all ate together around the small table in Jacob's kitchen -it was cozy- laughing at my dad and Billy's old stories.

All too soon I found myself back in my truck, the familiar smell of old leather and tobacco helping me relax in to a peaceful calm. My dad once again drove home so I let my thoughts run away with me. I thought of how much fun I'd had just chilling out with Jacob, what me and Alice could get up to next time I saw her. Tomorrow was going to be the start of a new term at school so tomorrow I would see Mike and break it off. I'd made up my mind. I deserved better than Mike, my heart had been trying to tell me all along. I made a vow to myself then and there that from now on I would always follow my heart. I would take the leap, believe in fate and see where it would take me - my heart secretly wished it would take me to _'him'._


	7. Chapter 7 Determination

**Determination**

With two nights of little sleep I was feeling extremely irritable. I'd already bitten my dad's head off twice this morning – he'd moved my school bag under the stairs while tiding; his idea of being helpful – causing him to practically run out the door to work. He was muttering something under his breath as he went, it sounded like how he'd never understand 'moody, hormonal girls'.

I'd thought about talking to my dad last night when we'd got back from La Push. My decision to break up with Mike was a personal matter though and Charlie, my dad wasn't the best when it came to personal talks. I thought he'd be quite happy about it. My dad thought Mike was alright but he'd never made an effort to get to know him well and I think he'd have preferred it if I didn't get in to a serious relationship until I'd left home and gone to college. I'd tell him after the act was done. I didn't want him to worry about me and it's not like he could have given me any advice on the subject. I'd never known my dad to have a relationship since he'd been married to my mum and that had ended with her leaving him here and getting a divorce, so I assumed he would have little, if any experience of how to tell your other half – so to speak – that it was over.

I'd gone to bed early last night thinking that due to the server storm the night before I'd be asleep in no time at all – if only I could be that lucky. My mistake was to switch on my mobile. I'd turned it off after replying to Alice's message so I could enjoy an uninterrupted day with Jacob. Within ten minutes I had over ten missed calls and messages, all from Mike, sent at different times during the day. None of them had changed my mind. I was determined that Mike and I were over. The only problem now being how was I going to tell him; it was that thought that had kept me up most of the night.

Part of me hoped that we could remain friends, maybe not straight away but eventually we might have been able to get back to how we were when I'd first moved to Forks. That part of me didn't want to hurt Mike's feelings so I was thinking of asking him to walk with me before school, so we could be alone. I didn't like the thought of having an audience while I told him it was over between us. Honestly I didn't think he'd be that bothered, we'd only been an item for about three months. Sure we had been friends first – that might make it awkward – he'd also had a crush on me since my first day at school here but there were plenty of girls who would gladly help him over any heart break I caused him.

Another part of me however wanted to yell at him, set him straight in front of all his friends; tell him what a jerk he was, how he had no right in treating Alice the way he had at Jess' party and no right in speaking – well texting – to me that way either. I was a forgiving person but the anger was far too fresh for me to let it slide, even if he was half out of his mind on drink when he'd done it.

It had started to get light outside, the sky turning a dull cloudless gray before I'd managed to get any sleep at all. It was going to be a miracle if I didn't fall asleep in one of my classes during the day, I'd have to hit the caffeine hard and drink as much coffee as I could manage. I could tell my first day back at school was not going to be a good one, I could only hope to get it over and done with as quick as possible.

While driving the high street to school I decided I would make my dad's favourite dinner tonight to make up for my earlier outburst. He had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. As far as I was concerned he was doing quite a good job at handling 'moody hormonal teenage girls'. I laughed to myself as I remembered how flustered he'd gotten when he tried to give me the 'sex talk', no doubt my mum had urged him, there was no way he'd have brought the subject up without being pushed into it.

The school parking lot was deserted when I pulled into it. I parked in my usual spot – where I'd parked the day Edward had saved me, I felt closer to him here somehow. It was the place where he'd actually touched me. I closed my eye's as I relived the sensations I'd felt as he held my body securely against his. My heart had felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest as his cold arms embraced me. My body felt charged, like it was alive with electricity. I knew he'd felt it to, I could see it in his eyes when they'd connected with mine. We'd had a connection but had never had the time to develop on it. If only I could get that time back with him again.

A sharp bang on my window broke me from my beautiful daydream. It was Mike. I smiled automatically before realising that I was still angry with him. His face fell as he read my reaction. I wound my down my window.

"What do you want Mike?"

He leant forward resting his arms on my trucks door frame. He smiled sweetly at me obviously hoping I was going to forget what he'd done over the past few days. His attitude only steeled my determination.

"We need to talk Bella"

_Not even a sorry, what a jerk_

"Yea, your right. We do."

His smile grew. I couldn't believe he seriously thought there was still a chance for us.

Pushing him away with the door I stepped out of my truck. The fresh air hit my sharply around the face, the cool wind stung my eyes. I felt strangely vulnerable. Grabbing my bag out of the cabin of my truck I took a deep breath to steady my nerves, reminding myself that Mike was no threat to me. I shook off the weird feeling, I could do this. I turned round and came face to face with Mike. He reached out to hold my hand; I shrugged out from under his grasp sliding along the side of my truck. I wanted to increase the distance between us.

"Come on lets get this over with"

"What"

"Mike I don't want to do this here"

I looked over to where Tyler and Eric were waiting; inching closer to us so they could hear what was being said.

"We don't need an audience."

I started walking towards the gym; there was a dirt track on the other side that lead into the forest. I was sure no one would follow us up there but turned round to check. Sure enough Mike was following obediently behind me. Tyler and Eric had been joined by Jessica, Lauren and Angela, but they hadn't moved to follow us.

Once we'd gone far enough up the trail I stopped, waiting for Mike to catch up. Sitting down on a fallen tree truck I looked back towards the school. You could barely see it through the thick green curtain of the forest trees. It had gone quite so I knew first lesson must have started.

"Bella you didn't need to do this, go to these extremes, your forgiven, you didn't even hurt me"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I was shocked into silence. Bewildered I sat there on the fallen tree truck, my mouth hanging open trying to figure out the words to snap myself out of it. They weren't coming. I just stared as Mike sat down next to me.

"If you'd answered your phone just once yesterday you'd know we were fine. You didn't need to hide from me all day; I'm not pissed at you anymore."

He touched my hand – which had clung onto the moss covering the tree so tightly my fingers had started to ache. My frozen posture melted as he touched me, I pulled my hand out from under his.

"You're not pissed at me anymore. Are you serious?"

I had to stand up, use some of the excess energy I could feel pulsing round my body. Now it was Mike that was frozen in place. He looked like he was utterly shocked at my reaction to him. His mouth was hanging open like a fish, his arm half reaching out as if to pull me back down beside him. I realised the soft approach wasn't going to work. I'd have to be blunt with him.

"You might not be pissed at me anymore but I sure as hell am still pissed at you".

He pulled his arm back as if he'd been stung by my words. He resembled a statue frozen in time.

"How can you just sit there acting like you did nothing wrong, you're an ass Mike. I was going to try and do this so we could still be friends but I think you'll get it more if I'm blunt about it."

I was yelling at him. I hadn't realised until a flock of birds over head flew away squawking, searching for a quieter resting place. My outburst had snapped Mike out of his catatonic state as well.

He stood up, towering over me.

"What are you saying?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you", I was still yelling. "We are over".

"You're finishing me", wasn't it obvious.

"Yes"

"You're finishing me because of Cullen".

Hearing _his_ name stopped me in my tracks. It was a couple of seconds before a regained my composure and realised that he'd meant Alice and not Edward – he called them all by their last name.

"No, I'm finishing you because you're a jerk".

"She's a fucking freak Bella; you shouldn't hang round with her. I was just watching your back, being a good boyfriend".

"That wasn't being a good boyfriend Mike that was being a pig ignorant asshole".

He stepped towards me; I held my hands up warning him to stay away from me.

"Bella" he sighed, looking down at his feet.

"What" I snapped back.

"She's not right", did he not realise that he was making things worse for himself.

"She's my best friend, do you get that, you had no right to treat her like that".

"Awww common, it didn't even hit her".

"But you meant to. You tried to hurt her".

"She caught it didn't she, no harm done".

"You don't get it Mike, grow up".

I turned to walk away from him but the sound of footsteps behind me caused me to stop.

"Hey Bella don't go"

He touched my shoulder, spinning me round. He was closer to me than I would have liked.

"Ok I get it. You want to hang out with Cullen. That's ok, I can live with it, I don't mind who your friends with but we don't need to finish. That's a bit of an over exaggeration don't you think?"

"What about all the call's and the text's Mike?"

"What about them. I was drunk, what did you expect".

"You called me a 'fucking bitch' and you expect me to be alright with it. Do you know me at all?"

"I wanted to get to know you but your legs are locked together at the knees" he shouted back at me.

I saw red. How had we got on to the subject of sex – though right now, the way things had turned out I was extremely relieved that we hadn't got that far in our physical relationship? I was suddenly conscience of how alone we were, no one had really seen where we were going. I started to back away towards the school.

"That's what I mean Mike. You're a jerk, stay away from me. I don't want to see you anymore".

"You fucking bitch, who do you think you are?"

He reached out and grabbed the tops of my arms holding me securely in his grasp. I tried to struggle free but he just tightened his grip on me, pushing me backwards. I stumbled over fallen branches – it was only Mikes grip on me that stopped me hitting the floor – until I was pinned up against a tree.

"Mike let me go".

"You lead me on all these months and then fuck me off for some fucking freak". He was shaking with anger.

"Mike your hurting me, get off me".

His grip tightened further, I could feel the loss of blood to my arms, and he was really starting to scare me. Mike looked at me; a strange calm seemed to cover him. Menacingly he leant closer to me whispering in my ear, I could feel the heat off his breath on my neck and fought the shudder that threatened to escape my frozen form.

"You can't go teasing a guy like that Bella it's not right".

His eye's slid down from my face to my body, greedily taking in the sight of my heaving chest. Panic started creeping up inside of me. I could hear my pulse racing behind my ears. One of his hands snaked down to my waist, toying with a belt loop on my jeans. The other still held me firmly in place. I had to stop this now, but how? With every bit of strength I could muster I struggled against his hold.

"Get the fuck off me Mike now".

His other hand slid down off my arm and I took my chance. I shoved him with all my might causing him to stumble back a step. He raised his hand as if to strike me. I closed my eyes, how could this be happening, this wasn't the Mike I knew. I was bracing myself for the impact of his hand when I heard a terrifying sound; a blood curding growl tore through the forest. Stunned I opened my eyes expecting to see a large mountain lion but found nothing. It was still just me and Mike standing in the clearing. Mike looked as stunned as me. He stepped away from me, breaking eye contact.

"Bella I'm sorry…..I didn't mean to…. It's you…you drive me crazy".

I was unsure of what to do. I wanted to get away from here but my bag was down behind Mike and I didn't want to get any closer to him.

"Bella, Bella" a musical voice called out to me.

It was Alice. I'd never been so happy to hear her voice.

"Alice I'm here" I croaked, stepping further away from Mike.

Alice walked into the clearing, ignoring Mike's towering form and came to stand by my side.

"Bella you shaking" I hadn't realised.

She turned and glared at Mike

"What did you do to her" Mike shrank back against the venom in Alice's words, he fell to his knee's.

"Nothing Alice, he did nothing" I grabbed her hand.

She looked me over, making sure there were no visible sign's that I was hurt, I tried to stop trembling. Alice grabbed my bag off the forest floor.

"It's over Mike. Stay away from me", I warned him.

He looked up but didn't meet my eyes, he just nodded his head.

"Alice" I turned to look at her, she was focused on Mikes crumpled form on the ground, pure hatred oozing out of her.

"Come on, lets go" I pulled on Alice's hand.

"Wait" she calmly told me.

She leant down next to Mike and whispered something in his ear, to low for me to hear. A look of sheer terror came over his face. Alice calmly stood up and returned to my side without giving Mike another glance.

"What did you say to him?" I asked her as she led me back down the track towards school.

"Oh nothing, don't worry about it. Bella did he hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine"

"You looked terrified"

"It was a bad breakup" that was the understatement of the world but I wanted nothing more than to forget the whole thing.

I felt so drained, physically and emotionally, I wanted to be at home in my bed. It was like Alice could read my mind.

"Do you want to go home? I'll stay with you."

"I'd like that. Thanks Alice"

Alice drove my truck home, its engine wheezed the whole journey as Alice tried to push it faster than it was used to going. My dad was still at work so I gave him a quick call explaining that I wasn't feeling well and had come home from school. He'd offered to come back and look after me but Alice reassured him that she'd take good care of me. She took her nursing duties seriously. Within ten minutes I was changed in to my sweat pants and vest top, tucked up in my bed. I lay with my head on Alice's lap, she played with my hair; relaxing me. In no time I could feel the lull of sleep pulling me under.

"Alice"

"Yes"

"What did you say to Mike"

"Oh come on Bella, rest please."

"I'm curious, I want to know"

"Bella"

"Please Alice; I can't stop thinking about the look on his face"

"If I tell you do you promise you'll sleep?"

"Yea"

"Ok, I told him if he ever came near you again he'd have to answer to my brothers and Jasper".

"Really"

I sat up, Alice glowered at me. Automatically I lay back down not wanting to face Alice's wrath.

"Yes really. You know how scared Mike is of Emmett, Jasper and especially Edward"

She looked me in the eyes as she mentioned _his_ name, watching my reaction. Did she know?

"Thanks Alice"

"What for"

She started rubbing soothing patterns on my arm.

"For being there"

"Anytime Bella, you're my best friend"

I smiled at her as sleep took me. When I closed my eyes I was met by _his_, staring back at me, golden caramel and warm. How I wished he was here comforting me, I'd settle gladly however for his sister and allow myself to think that where ever _he_ was out there he'd care enough about me to want me to be safe. This time thanks to another Cullen I was.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 Coming Clean

"Alice, can I ask you something?"

I'd been awake for a few minutes but hadn't moved. I was relived to find Alice was still here with me. She hadn't spoken to me but I was sure she knew I was awake. She was just allowing me to gather my thoughts; supporting me with her presence. It was a comfortable silence. My head was still in Alice's lap, her cool fingers gently tracing patterns rhythmically on my shoulder blade. I'd been so happy and content in my unconsciousness dreaming of my golden eyed angel. Normally when I woke up after dreaming of _him _I felt sad, wrong and somehow empty but this time it was different; I didn't feel hollow. Now I was strangely optimistic. I'd made my decision to try and follow my heart and Edward was where my heart wanted to be.

If I had any chance of being with Edward - full filling my hearts desires –then I was going to need Alice's help. I'd have to come clean to her, tell her that I wanted to be with Edward, who knows maybe she could help try and get him to come back to Forks. He needed to be here obviously before I could even hope to dream about being in a relationship with him. What would I say to her though '_Alice just thought I'd tell you I have a major crush on Edward'_ that wouldn't do. It wasn't a crush. It was more, so much more than that. I was infatuated with him to the point where he was constantly on my mind. Even in my sleep I could not escape him – not that I wanted to – Edward was a permanent figure in my dreams. He was the last thing I thought of before I closed my eyes and the first thing to enter my mind when I woke. I was dangerously obsessed.

I had to know one way or the other if I even stood a chance of being with Edward. Somehow I needed to see him, speak to him but what would I say. I couldn't just blurt it out _'Edward I know you don't really know me but I'm madly in love with you',_ that would surly send him running for the hills. What I needed was the chance to have a serious talk with him; I'd tell him how even though we hardly new each other while he was here I missed him everyday. If only I could get to speak to him alone – maybe get his mobile number or email address at least – I needed to get this off my chest. I deserved a chance, I should have had it before he'd left and he still needed to explain himself for that as well – he just disappeared after promising to reveal the mystery as to how he'd managed to save me from being crushed by Tyler's van.

What was the worst that could happen? He'd tell me he wasn't interested in me. I could live with that, I'd be able to heal and mend my heart. I mean how hard could it be to force your heart to get over something it never really had in the first place and that was surly better than the situation I found myself in right now. Constantly wondering what if.

"Bella", Alice stroked me cheek.

"Hmmm", I looked up in to her eyes and sighed – the same colour.

"You wanted to ask me something"

I grimaced, looking away from her; I didn't want her to be able to read the sadness in my eyes. Was I ashamed of my feelings? No I wasn't, those were the one thing I was sure of. I was scared of Alice's reaction more than anything plus telling Alice meant I was finally admitting the truth about my feelings not just to myself but out loud freely for people to judge me. Then again I'd never cared before about what people thought of me, why start now? It was easy enough to tell Jacob that I was in love with someone but he didn't know Edward. Telling Alice would be different, she was my best friend, her opinion meant a lot to me but she was also Edward's sister; his closest sister from what I could remember witnessing.

I closed my eye's, summoning all my inner courage. Taking a deep breath I sat up turning to face Alice on my bed. She was watching me very closely, probably wondering why I was suddenly acting so weird around her.

"Bella what's wrong? You can tell me anything. You know that right?"

She reached forward taking my hand in hers, stopping my fingers intertwining with each other – something I did when I was nervous. It's not that I didn't want to tell her, I just wasn't sure how to tell her; where to start.

"Bella did Mike hurt you? Before I found you?"

I saw a glimpse of pure hatred shine in her eye's when she mentioned his name before she managed to compose herself.

"No! No Alice. I swear."

I didn't want to think about that now. She thought that I was troubled because of how Mike had reacted to our break up – and I was – but that was at the back of mind right now, I knew we'd talk about that later when it wasn't so fresh in my head. Right now I wanted nothing more than to forget that Mike Newton even existed, right now all I wanted to think about was Edward Cullen. _Oh my god can't believe I'm going to say this, oh well here goes._ I squared my shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes.

"I wanted to tell you something but I'm not sure where to start".

"Bella what on earth could get you in such a state? Tell me. You know you can tell me anything. Best friend's right." She smiled back at me while pointing back and forth between us.

"Ok….well…..I want your advice and your opinion….. I suppose on something. I've wanted to talk to you for ages about this…… I mean you're my best friend Alice and I didn't want things to get….. I don't know….. Weird between us".

I was rambling, stalling for time. Alice saw through me, she knew me so well. How much easier would this be if she could just read my mind – seriously sometimes it felt like she could – and know what I was going to say next?

"Bella breath spit it out, your turning blue."

"It's Edward" _oh god I just said it._

"Edward?" she looked puzzled.

"Well no, not Edward"

"Not Edward?"

"Yea it's about me"

A perplexed look was fixed on Alice's face. This was not going too well. I could feel the blush creeping up on my cheeks. _Why couldn't the ground open up now and swallow me whole._

"Bella I'm confused. Are we talking about you? Edward?" a devilish grin crept up on to her face as she continued," or you and Edward?"

Startled by her statement I realised I was just sat there gapping at her, my mouth slightly open waiting for the words to come but it was like my brain was frozen. I couldn't think a coherent thought let alone speak a sentence. Alice smiled and squeezed my hand reassuring me.

"Bella please just tell me. I won't freak out".

"Well it's me….. And Edward….. I want there to be a me and Edward" _oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Shit, can't believe I just said that, oh well there's no taking it back now._

My hair hung down between us shielding me from Alice's stare. I had to look though. I needed to know how she was reacting to this. Alice was my best friend and I didn't want to risk that friendship over this. Slowly I lifted my gaze from my hands in my lap to Alice's frozen form on my bed. She was sat exactly like me, a mirror image, the only difference being that my face held a cautious expression on it while hers held a ridiculously big grin, like she was the cat that got the cream.

"I knew it" she squealed, bouncing up and down where she sat on my bed.

I couldn't believe the relief that washed over me. I admit I was slightly confused about her reaction but at least she wasn't totally appalled by the idea.

"Knew what?" I tried playing dumb.

"Oh Bella"

She pulled me forward so I was no longer sat crossed legged on the bed. Now I was knelt up – practically in Alice's lap. I couldn't stop the smile spreading across my face. Alice was always so enthusiastic; she wore her heart on her sleeve. She continued.

"I knew you liked him, oh Bella you'd make such a great couple."

"You knew I liked him but you never said anything". I pulled away from her, she looked slightly stunned.

"Well I was waiting for you to tell me, I mean I wasn't absolutely sure especially when you started dating Mike" she winced as she said his name "but I'd seen you stick up For Edward so I knew there was something there. Honestly Bella I think I realised it before you did".

I could feel he tension growing inside of me, my eye's prickled with the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Well you could have told me" I snapped back.

I couldn't hold them any longer, I closed my eyes and the tears cascaded effortlessly down my cheeks – I always cried when I was angry. I'd felt so alone with these feelings the last couple of months. All that time I'd have loved nothing more than to talk to Alice about it but she'd never given me any idea that she knew how I was feeling. I felt stupid and hurt.

"You never talked about him though; whenever I mentioned him you changed the subject".

"Bella I'm sorry. I don't want you to think that you can't talk to me about anything. You can. Anything? Always, but you had to figure it out for yourself. Edward wasn't here anymore and he wasn't planning on returning anytime soon so I didn't want to push you in to something that could hurt you".

It was Alice's turn to look down now; her eyes were full of regret. I could tell she felt bad for keeping things from me. I shouldn't blame her. I wouldn't blame her, I hadn't told her anything either.

"I missed him too. Bella please understand. It hurt to think of Edward away somewhere but I am sorry. Truly. Please believe me I didn't do it to spite you."

Now I felt awful, I'd made Alice feel guilty. I never wanted that. All I'd wanted was Alice's support and she was giving it to me gladly and I was acting so childish, over reacting.

"Alice its ok", I reached out and took both her hands in mine. A shiver ran through me at the touch of her cold skin against mine. I realised then, something she'd just said struck home.

"Alice", she looked up at me and smiled. "What did you mean Edward wasn't here?" _does that mean he's here now? Back in Fork's, don't get your hopes up _I told myself.

"He came back recently just to visit, he's not staying, well he wasn't going to but he's not said when he's leaving either, honestly if you ask me he doesn't want to leave again. I'm sure I could persuade him to stay longer".

My heart felt like it was flying.

"Alice", she smiled at me, all bad feelings washing away "Can I ask you something, a favour" her Cheshire cat grin had returned.

"Anything"

"I need to see him, speak to him, could you ask him?"

I didn't want to sound desperate, but part of me really was. I hadn't been expecting him to be in Fork's for a while, if at all. There were no more excuses now. If there was a chance I could get some answers than I would take it.

"I'll ask him"

"You will?"

"I will. I promise Bella".

I lay my head back down on Alice's lap, allowing my thoughts to run away with me. Alice broke the silence first.

"Bella can I ask you something? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I'm just curious".

I knew this question was coming; I might as well get it over with sooner rather than later.

"Go on. Ask me".

"How much do you like Edward?"

I couldn't stop my eyes from rolling and I playfully slapped Alice's leg.

"Hey", she mocked at being hurt.

"A lot"

"A lot" she repeated what I'd said. It sounded more like a question then a statement; I knew she wasn't going to let it drop.

"Alright, more than a lot, much more than I should".

"Really", I could tell from her tone she was pleased.

"Yes really, don't sound so surprised" I laughed.

"You can talk to me about him you know. I mean if you want. I'll listen I know he's my brother but you're my best friend".

"Are you sure"

"Yea go on. Spill your guts. I'd love to know what was going on in that head of yours"

"Well….."

"Well….." she repeated me.

"I can't stop thinking about him". I looked up at her; she smiled back at me so I took that as a green light to continue.

"I mean I know it's kind of weird, I mean you know we weren't friends or anything but I wanted us to be and then he saved me from being crushed by Tyler's van"

Again I looked up at Alice expecting her to deny that Edward had done anything spectacular that day but she didn't – _I knew it, he was something more, something special_ her silence confirmed my suspicions.

"He left Alice, after he promised to explain what happened to me. I couldn't stop thinking about him. At first I thought it was just because I was angry with him but that faded and I still had him constantly on my mind. God Alice I'm obsessed. Shit, I feel so stupid saying all this to you"

I could see the effort it was taking to stop herself from laughing at my outburst and couldn't resist giggling myself. I felt lighter, finally being able to talk about this stuff I'd been bottling up. It was a good feeling so I decided to tell her everything.

"I don't know what to do Alice, I dream about him all the time. Mike was meant to be a distraction, it didn't work".

"I can tell, well at least your taste in men is getting better"

"Thanks_,_ I think." I took a deep breath in and continued. "Alice….. I think….. I know…. I love him"

"You love him". It wasn't a question. It was a statement, she knew I was serious. "Bella I'll talk to him, I'll get him to see you. I promise."

"Thanks Alice. I just need to know"

"Need to know what?"

"If I'm wasting my time. Edward might not want me but I can't stand not knowing and wondering what if anymore".

"Listening for once to your heart Bella".

"Yea it's quite scary"

"It will work out, I'm sure of it"

"I wish I had your confidence" I joked.

"Well I know Edward, better than I think he knows himself sometimes".

I felt great having Alice know what was going on in my head. She'd taken it so well that I wished I'd have told her sooner. Alice had finally left me alone when my dad called to say that he would be home soon. She'd wanted to wait with me till he got back; she was worried about Mike bothering me. However I thought that extremely unlikely and managed to convince her that I would be able to survive without a babysitter for a while. I really wanted some time on my own; I needed to think about what I needed to do next. To be honest I hadn't planned this far ahead.

I settled down on the sofa with a steaming mug of coffee and started skipping through the TV channels. The rain was tapping quietly against the windows making me feel more snug and secure. I shuffled down further into the cushions on the sofa. I was so comfy and more relaxed than I had been in months. I didn't think twice about answering the door when someone knocked on it. I should have looked through the peep whole – how many times had Charlie told me – normally I did and this time I really wish I had.

Mike was stood there soaking wet, his hands stuffed in to his jacket pockets. He was looking straight at me, his eyes guarded. I wasn't given the chance to refuse his entry in to the house. He mumbled "We need to talk" pushing past me; nearly knocking me off my feet. He stalked off in to the kitchen leaving me standing bewildered propped up against the dresser in the hallway. What was I going to do now? Thing's between me and Mike hadn't ended well and Charlie wasn't going to be home for at least half an hour. I found myself wishing I hadn't insisted Alice go home and my phone was in the kitchen – where Mike was. So I couldn't text her and tell her to come back.

Taking another deep breath I steadied myself, gathering my thoughts together; preparing to face Mike. There was no way I was going to let him intimidate me in my own home, or let him get any satisfaction from seeing how scared he had me. I took a few steps heading towards the kitchen.

"Bella" a velvet voice called from behind me.

The front door was still open, I spun round startled to hear a voice I hadn't heard in months but one that I had wished to hear everyday since he'd left. He was more beautiful in person, my memories and sub conscious mind hadn't done him justice. I didn't know what to say. He smiled at me, my favourite smile causing my heart to skip a beat and my breathing to hitch in my chest. His gaze melted me. I smiled back.

"Edward".


	9. Chapter 9

Edwards's point of view: what's going through his mind after finding out Bella & Alice are friends – this happens while Alice and Bella are having there heart to heart.

Conflicting Desires

It was hard for me to find anywhere I could be alone, truly alone. Maybe hard wasn't the right word. With my gift it was next to impossible and at this moment there was nothing I needed more that to be alone with just my own thoughts for company. Only one place sprang to mind, a place where I hoped to find the solitude I so desperately sought right now. It was my safe haven, my meadow, situated on the slopes of the mountains that surrounded our home here in Forks. I'd found it long ago while I was trying to escape the loved up couples I lived with. Not that I ever begrudged them, truly on some level I'd always envied them but until recently I'd been settled with the way of my life. That was until my dark angel had entered my world and drastically turned it upside down.

Since I'd returned home and discovered that Alice had befriended Bella I'd felt like I was being torn in two. Part of me – the more cautious sensible side – wanted to run from here, run and never look back. I shouldn't be this close to such a temptation. My head was telling me to forget these feelings, shut them away in a box and store it in one of the dark corners of my vast mind; to start my life over, somewhere totally new with no reminders of her and what could have been. However this is where I found myself torn. That other part of me – the more reckless and impulsive side – desperately wanted to find out what could happen if I did stay.

I'd been toying with the idea of heading back north to Alaska but my family kept coming up with excuses for me to stay.

"Just a few more days Edward" – Esme

"We never get to see you" – Emmett

"Just look at how happy Esme is to have her whole family

around her" – Alice

They – mainly Alice – were playing the guilt card and it should have infuriated me, normally it would have but it didn't. If I was being honest with myself I was relieved at the excuses they were giving me to stay in Forks, to stay near Bella.

Being back at home made me feel more whole then I had done in all the months I'd been away. Only being back now did I realise that it was like I'd been in constant physical pain – a dull throbbing ache deep inside of me. Only now I was home did I notice due to its absence. Bella's presence in my life had altered me dramatically and more importantly permanently.

All the time I was away trying to forget about her she'd been all I could think of. The more I tried not to think of her the more she invaded my thoughts. It was a vicious circle and I was trapped hopelessly drowning in it. I had thought that first day I'd met her when the call of her blood – so strong – flooded all my sense's that it would be impossible to be intoxicated by another more than her. If not for the thoughts of my family I would have murdered her that day, drained her life's force without a seconds thought. I was only partly right. No ones blood called out to me like Bella's did but Bella's pull on me had increased and it had nothing to do with the scent of her blood.

It was her, her whole being. Yes her blood still called to me, making my mouth weep with venom. For many it would have been impossible to resist but I did. For days, weeks and months I'd tried not to interact with her but had found myself drawn to her anyway – like gravitational forces or magnets. There was an insatiable pull that I could not repress and towards the end - before I'd exiled myself – I'd given in trying.

So I watched her, taking in what voyeuristic pleasure I could. She was breath taking. Such pure skin, it looked so soft to the touch – as if your fingers would leave traces of themselves behind if you brushed your hand across her check, like it would in snow. Her hair a rich dark mahogany - I smiled to myself, always knew I preferred brunettes – normally left to cascade down her back in loose spiral curls and twists. Her deep chocolate brown eyes, looking in to those was like diving in to her soul. It was her infamous blush that was my favourite though, a romantic rose pink that made her look so vibrant and alive. It caused me to smile every time I saw it, especially when I was the cause of it. We - my kind – are all beautiful to humans I'd always known that but the reaction I got from Bella was so much more. She felt for me as I felt for her and that's why I'd left her all those months ago. After touching her, holding her securely against myself to stop that dammed van from crushing her I knew I couldn't be near her again without holding her again. I could have chosen to take her, make her mine bind her to me forever like the selfish creature I was but that wasn't fair to her. That soul that blazed behind her eyes would not be put out by me. I loved her, all of her to much to do that.

"Edward"

Alice calling my name broke through my thoughts. I found myself stood up looking in the direction her voice had come from. I was slightly amazed, I hadn't realised I'd been lying down in the first place and second that Alice had managed to get so close to me without me picking up her thoughts before I'd heard her speak. I couldn't remember if that had happened before. Bella took up so many of my thoughts that I hadn't even consciously been aware of Alice approaching.

Now I was aware I noticed how blatantly she was waiting for me to come to her. She didn't want to invade my private place; I loved her more for that. I was so incredibly lucky to have a sister like Alice, to have a family like I did. How did I ever imagine that I could remove myself from their lives as well as Bella's? I'd set myself an impossible task, I realised that now. I was stupid – and slightly impressed that I'd managed to last as long as I did. In staying away, causing myself pain I'd shown my love for Bella the only way I thought I could do safely but maybe I could be like Alice. Maybe I could be in Bella's life and show her how I loved her. I allowed myself one moment of hope before I allowed reality to shine down on me once more. I couldn't be in a relationship with Bella. I was too much of a risk to her, Alice wasn't.

I had realised that didn't mean I had to leave again. I could stay; if I could control myself then I could watch out for her, show my love by protecting her. I could fantasise about touching her, holding her the way a man should hold the woman he loves but that's where those feelings would stay, fantasy.

"You're staying"

Alice practically pounced on me, wrapping her legs around my waist. If she hadn't been my best friend and sister it would have been highly inappropriate. I couldn't help but laugh back at her enthusiasm. I felt lighter than I had done in a long time.

"Well?" she said dropping out of my arms.

"Yes Alice, your giving me too many reasons to stay…..thank you"

"Thank you for what?"

"For taking care of her when I couldn't but I'm back know so….."

I trailed off as a recent memory came to the surface in Alice's mind. She tried to keep it from me, to distract herself, hide it from me. Alice knew I wouldn't let it drop so she decided to let it play out. It was Alice running through the forest this morning, trying to find something, the panic radiated off her. I was curious at first as to why this thought had come to her mind while I was thanking her for taking care of Bella in my absence. I understood all too soon. In her flashback it had been Bella she was frantically searching for. I could feel the tension and panic Alice had swelling up inside her while she searched and then came the anger when she heard the raised voices. I recognised her voice straight away.

"_Mike your hurting me, get off me"_

"_You can't go teasing a guy like that Bella…it's not right"_

"_Get the fuck off me Mike now"_

_A growl ripped up through Alice's chest stunning both Bella and Mike, allowing Bella the time she needed to get free from his grasp._

"_Bella I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…its you…you drive me crazy"_

_Alice entered the clearing, Bella was trembling looking straight at her, relief evident on her face._

How dare he put his hands on her that way! He would have marked her. It felt like my blood was boiling inside my frozen body. As the emotions ran through me, anger, hatred, jealously and towards my sister gratitude. I'd never felt this alive before. I didn't realise I was shaking until Alice steadied my arm, stroking me reassuringly.

"She's alright Edward. I got to her before he could hurt her."

"He was going to….."

I whispered to myself, I didn't want to finish that thought. I'd never liked Newton but I'd never seen it in him to maliciously hurt someone on purpose. My hands were balled into tight fist's, I pushed my palms into my eye sockets really trying not to see the sheer panic that was laced on Bella's face as Mike had pushed himself against her. He was going to pay, he had to. No one would ever touch her, make her feel like that again.

"You don't know what he was going to do Edward; you weren't there to read his thoughts."

Anger ripped through me again, did she have to remind me of that, I was failing Bella – that's what it felt like.

"Thanks for reminding me of that fact Alice but it's not hard to guess what was going through Newton's mind…."

I took a deep breath and looked at Alice who was perched on one of the lower branches of a near by tree. I waited till she raised her head, wanting eye contact.

"He was going to force himself on her!"

The rage clawing inside my chest made my voice tremble and a snarl escaped my lips. I had to pace around. I was in dangerous proximity of hunting Newton down and putting him out of his misery, slowly and painfully. I'd done it before, hunted down villains who wanted to cause pain to young vulnerable women. For a decade they had been my prey but I wouldn't want to sully myself by drinking any of Newton's blood.

"He's not going to touch her again Edward"

Alice spoke in a small voice – almost child like.

"No you're right, he wont have the chance to go anywhere near her!"

I grabbed hold of the nearest object – a large stone – and threw it. Partly to use up the surge of energy I had cursing through my core and partly just to emphasize just how pissed off I was – unfortunately I took out a baby spruce tree and had to roll my eyes at the expression on Alice's face.

"I'll be keeping a close eye on her though, even if I did threaten him with you three."

"Us three?"

"Yea, you, Emmett and Jazz. You should have seen his face. He was always terrified of you. I thought it was the best way to differ him from going near her again. I couldn't really scare him myself without revealing us."

I could hear the annoyance seeping into her words as she spoke. I could see that Alice cared for Bella a lot to and wished she could personally take the threat of Newton away personally. I stopped my pacing and hugged her gently offering her some comfort.

"Thank you again", I mumbled into her hair.

"What for this time?"

"For looking out for Bella. I know you love her to"

"I do Edward, like a sister….."

She looked up at me before shame distorted her features, the weight of it making her turn her gaze away from me.

"…..but I was almost too late".

"But you weren't, that's what counts…. I'm staying Alice. I couldn't leave again…. I need to be near her, if nothing more than to just watch over her from the shadows."

"You don't have to do that, you could love her Edward, allow her to love you back. You deserve happiness Edward don't be scared to reach out and take it."

"It's a nice thought Alice but think I'll settle for enrolling back at school and trying to be her friend first…take it from there".

"Really you're coming back to school."

"How did you not see that, some physic you are…?" The sarcasm was thick in my voice "…Alice I didn't mean it." She looked hurt.

I looked closer, her eyes glazed over. I had seen this to many times to worry, she was having a vision. Her hand reached and clung to my arm.

"Bella", she half cried out.

That's all it took to pique my interest. I watched the vision unfold in Alice's mind.

"NO!"

I shouted as I pushed myself away from Alice and into the forest.

"Hurry Edward, I won't make it…you can" Alice called after me.

No. The word screamed inside my head. He'd been threatened, warned; now he would pay. He would not touch her again. I could promise her that much. It wasn't long before I came across her scent – freesia, strawberries and lavender – I was nearly there; please don't let him touch her. The thought caused my anger to rise and my speed to increase again as I pushed towards my Angel.

I stopped on the edge of the forest, where it encroached on her garden. Newton was already here; his car was parked out the front. There was no shouting – hopefully I was here in time. The only sound I concentrated on was one that I would recognise anywhere, possibly the most important sound in my world now – Bella's heart beat. It was faster than normal, fluttering to quickly, she was stressed, panicked and fearful. That's all it took – her fear - the last part of my resolve to stay away crumbled to dust. She needed me and I would be here until she sent me away. I bounded up the steps of the front porch. The door was fully open and I could see straight through the house.

If I was alive I'm sure my heart would have stopped beating at the sight of her. As it was I'm sure the opposite happened. My heart hadn't beat in almost ninety years buts that's what it felt like. She was facing away from me. I needed to see her face; I'd longed to see it for so long now.

"Bella"

I called before I could stop myself. She turned at the sound of my voice. A thousand emotions crossed her face as her eyes lay on me still stood in her door way. Surprise, gratefulness, relief and love. Her lips parted automatically, her beautiful smile dazzled me.

"Edward"

It took just one word to fall from her lips and I just knew I could never leave her again, I was home.


End file.
